my first a video! feedback plz.

have way more impressive things to show off eventually that i helped build or was apart of...will wait till i get everything set up and talk to my partner so i can do the creations justice.

thanks for watching.


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Last updated July 4, 2018 Views 14 Applies to:

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i apologize ment to embed but will not let me edit it now. also..turn down volume on video about half way for best clarity.


Ehem... A few points I'd like to make...
It's clear to me here that you didn't let me decorate. I know you read twilightIt's an okay bush at best
Hey, I just watched this, and this is crazy
... I'm deaf now, but call me maybe? 

alrighty, here's my review.

I think your diction was good.  You were very clear to hear and understand.  Since you mentioned a audio problem, I dialed the volume down before I started.  I do recommend using a good mic and ensuring you have clean sound at max volume.

You sound older than a kid, which gives your voice some credibility and ease to listen to.

camera work was surprisingly stead for using an iPhone.  Must be on a tripod?  It worked, but you'd have a crisper image if you used a capture card system.

On banter, don't waste too much time on the same joke.  Once you made a reference to a book on your shelf, we don't need to keep staring at the bookshelf so you can repeat the joke on 5 more titles.  Also, like in writing, try not to use the same word or phrase all the time.  You kept referring to the "it's a little pixelated" for your art jokes and books.  Better to skip that part and mention, "above the fireplace, you'll see we have a Renoit..." and move on.  Makes it smoother.

Also, don't point out the mistakes, like the miscalculation you mention about the bushes and fencing.  Just show us the front of the house, take us down to the pier and move on smoothly.

the intro was also a bit long before you start moving.  I hate MC videos where we sit in the spawn point for 5 minutes while the narrator babbles about unrelated things before we get to the purpose of the video and there's absolutely no action or relevance to the video going on.

Your video should start:

Welcome to my MC Beach house.  I'm your guide PapaCaps.

[camera starts moving towards the house]

I'll be taking you on a guided tour of this quaint brick one story on the shore of a beautiful beach.

speaking of beautiful, as we look to our left, we can see a fantastic sunset.

[camera turns left, and moves down to the dock]

this dock is made of mahoganny and really works well with the beach.

[gazing at the sunset, with a part fo the dock in the lower view]

a couple could be quite cozy watching the sunset from here

[pause for a moment]

Well, let's go check out the house itself

[camera moves back to the front door and enters]

Also, make sure you've got what you really want to show.  If youre house is a one room shack, that's not really show casing any building, design or style talent.  It doesn't have to be big, but it should have some complexity to be of interest to the viewer.

Just some thoughts, for your second video.

@ palmtop lol adorable..<3

@janx - yea the iphone was actually wedged between my PC and Desk lol with it having to be slightly tipped backwards i own a Capture card and have blackmagic but the pc i have is in really bad shape so like i said in the video new able to do alot more and be a bit more professional about it..the house is also just the very first one i made like way back in may when the game came out it was revised once we got clay but other then that i just kept it true to form so that's why it's so simple looking more then anything i appreciate the critique and will take all these things into doing a better job for the rest of the videos i do.

and I'm not knocking the house itself.  Merely pointing out that your subject material needs to be more sophisticated to make it notable as a video on YouTube.

As a  test video, it's all good.  As your "this is my MineTV grade" video, you want to make sure you've got:

clean camera shots.footage

undistorted sound

clear voicing and clever lines

interesting subject matter

You might consider shooting a video in the fashion of those home remodeling shows.  Since you have a sense of humor, write it as if it were a serious show:

here's the Johnson's single room starter home.

Watch as we transform their house from this

[show shots of old newbie home]

to this

[show shots of total transformation]

Just some thoughts.  Good luck.

an extra thing to do is to record your narration seperately,


Wire up the recording to capture the game audio (background noise, walking sounds, etc)


shoot the scene, saying your lines as you go (for pacing).  Don't worry if you screw up, it's not recorded


then, when you've got all your scenes and you've arranged it in the order and assembled it, record the audo narration as you WATCH the video, mixing it in with the background sound of the game


this lets you retry a scene, without having to get the lines right while you're working on camera work (moving your avatar around while recording the scene is basically camera work).


Also, don't be afraid to use multiple shots and transition from scene to scene.  It's newbie film school day to shoot the whole movie as one continuous take.

ah...well i did take a lot of TV/Film production classes all through school so i know a lot of what your talking about this was merely a start to finish take on an Iphone 4s to see if i could keep dialogue going on a "live commentary" Thursday is when all my stuff really arrives but i already have written up ideas for scripts for skits(Machinima) i would like to do a long with a ton of "see me play" type of commentaries for other games i have a good headset but won't hear it in this video due to lack of PC enabled capture card as far as anything after this one it'll be more polished and clean + ill have run my ideas past the brains of my operation she's really artsy and creative and a perfectionist so i know she won't let me upload anything unless it meets her approval lol but i do appreciate any feedback for me this video was more of a hope that one day i can look back and see where i started the home decorating show was already a skit i rough drafted with the different camera angles like you suggested just didn't have the means this time to put into effect.

after watching the video a few times to criticize myself i also realized MC may not be the best for live commentary unless your in constant action or can keep the audience interested (think i can once i get better) but for other games like L4D or resident evil the action helps fill the "dead air" moments. we'll see though and ill continue to evolve and get better.

also...Palmtop Tiger....custody of kirby now belongs to me! muahaha!!

3rd update For my next video i plan to show off "Fort Briggs" from Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood one of my all time favorite Anime right now its just me solo but hope to finish it in time for the big debut....i plan on making a jail cell , mess hall and underground bunker and creating MC looking tanks and what not plenty of schematics/blue prints for it the only issue i'm having is finding a seed for Snow and huge mountains...may just have to makeshift one in a desert lol - any suggestions?

Ditch the glass roof for on your house and make a real one

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