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Last updated July 3, 2018 Views 0 Applies to:

GTFOH

You ever read that book about the guy who lived with 12 cats? The authors name is "Claude Balls".

....what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?......nothing, you already told her twice

men age like wine....women age like milk

Seriously though. A few months ago I read an inspiring news article about a baby boy who was born with no eyelids. They called in a plastic surgeon specialist who was able to use the baby's own foreskin (so the body didn't reject what wasn't it's) to form eyelids. The surgery took several hours of meticulous construction of nerves and muscles but in the end it was deemed a success. Since this was a somewhat high profile case the surgeon was interviewed soon after the surgery. When asked what the prognosis of the child was the surgeon replied "The surgery went well and the child tolerated the procedure without issue. We expect a full recovery however, it should be noted that we anticipate the child to be a little cockeyed".

Q. why do woman have v@ginas.

A. So men will talk to them.

Why are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

Little Johnny was in math class and during class his teacher posed a math problem. She said "There are three crows sitting on the farmers fence and the farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny answered "None!" The teacher said "No, little Johnny, listen carefully. There are three crows sitting on the farmer fence and the farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny answers again, "None!" At this point the teacher says "Why do you say that little Johnny?" to which he replies "When he farmer shoots the other two fly away". The teacher said "That's not the answer I was looking for but I like the way you think". Little Johnny spoke up once more and said "So, you like riddles? I've got one for ya. Three women are at the ice cream parlor each eating a scoop of ice cream on a cone. One licks, one sucks and the other bites. Which one is married?" Sensing a more diabolical intent the teacher answers with reservation "Well, little Johnny, I don't like this question but I'll say the one that sucks." Little Johnny answers "No, silly! It's the one with the wedding ring on. But, I like the way you think!"