Attention: First of all, let me say, that this is somewhat of a long read. If you have a great passion in games and about the industry, or is just a passionate gamer, this might interest you. So take some time to read it, you might enjoy it
Hey everyone! I’ve been an xbox live member since 2007(Jan I believe), and I guess you can say I’m new to the forums again. Yes, again. I was going on the forums a lot before they changed this up, and just simply before I stopped gaming for a while. Now, I certainly don’t want to vent to you guys, but since I remember this forum as a mature and adult like forum, I was thinking that this would be an “appropriate” place. Just for a heads up, this might be a long read, but I believe you might find it interesting because of my passion(or previous) for video games and how I view them. It could be very similar to yours. I’ll break up the whole read with paragraphs.
I’m currently in high school, 16 years old, and just finished my sophomore year. The beginning of my sophomore year was the first year for me in a private school. I’ve went to public schools most of my life, and around the country, and this was my first year at a private school. By around the country, I mean that my family moved a lot, my mom, pops, and older brother moved to Seattle in ’91 from Russia, and since then moved a lot(Dad is a doctor). I’m currently residing in VA.
But getting back to the point, I moved a lot, been to some crappy public schools, and my parents gratefully allowed me to go to private school. I took a lot of things for granted when signing up for classes there, thinking that the advanced classes there would be as easy as the public school ones. Just an insider, advanced classes at public schools aren’t really advanced, or much difference from regular classes, from my experience. So I took a lot of things for granted, and ended up with a whole cluster and couldn’t manage my time correctly. I ended up having a couple anxiety attacks in the first semester.
Along with this, I had to basically give up gaming for a while. It wasn’t a huge problem at all, because I was already struggling with this internal problem with games a year before.
Now it gets to the main part
A year before, like I said, I was somewhat struggling with games. This passion I had. I’ve been playing games since I was 2, and clearly remember some great memories at that age all the way up till now. I have two passions, Music and Video Games. I take them to deep heart. I’ve been playing games since age 2, and always had great ideas for them. As for music, I’ve always been surrounded around music, started playing piano since age 9, and like games always had ideas. In a non cocky way, I describe myself as a visionary. Ever since around age 11, and going through rough experiences in public schools(I went to schools that were located near, or sometimes in the ghettos, etc) I’ve been somewhat able to grip reality and be more above age level thinking than most people my age, or any people in my age group. It’s one of the reason why I can’t find a good, “best “ friend in this small town, just feel like my maturity Is greater than others, but not in a cocky way.
So ever since then, with the above age level thinking, it’s helped me greatly in creativity, of course dealing with people and just reality in general, and doing things that not many would do my age. I started writing stories and such, and just saw that Video Games, can be just like any other entertainment product. Such as books, movies, etc. Many of those authors take it to heart, and do it not because to entertain people, but to send a message, to do something different, etc. I saw that the whole video game industry is changing, being up to par to many other industries, but changing in an artistic way. From the music(which by the way, im a huge fan of the music in may games), to acting, and such.
Well I can go on with my whole thoughts on video games, but hopefully you guys get the point. Anyways, I’m 16 now, and around age 13-14, things started to change. Of course with me having different ideas, different interests, being more of a cultural person in a way, by gaining interests in musicals, books, philosophy, etc. I saw all of this, that can be useful in my interests, in music and in video games. The things you can conjure with knowledge can be phenomenal. But one thing was missing, that feeling.
That feeling of exploring something new in games, that feeling of enjoyment, that feeling of just nostalgia, and feeling of excitement in general. It all started at age 11 when I had xbox live and saw my perspectives in games, and it was slowly fading away. Along with Freshman year of high school coming up, I went on a hiatus, all the way till(hopefully) now. I tried my best to play games, but it seems like those feelings weren’t there anymore; I still saw the visions and things that made me passionate about games, but that emotionally feelings weren’t there. Along with G4 being cut from Direct Tv, it was almost impossible to keep up. So ever since Freshman year, till the end of sophomore year, which is now, the present, I haven’t been that actively video game-“astic”. Mainly during that hiatus, I started songwriting, more focusing on piano and music in general, and definitely feel that music is my true love and something I want to pursue in as a career.
But that doesn’t mean that I can love games too, or at least par take in the video game industry too. Anyways, This summer, I want to get back into it, and checking out some new games coming out, like LA Noire, I think I might have a chance of reviving that feeling again.
What do you think? What can I do? And my whole big question is, what do you think of my situation? I know this forum has been an adult/mature forum for a long time, and some really good answers, or at least reasonable ones, would be great. I know many people here are way older than me, ages from 20-40, maybe older, so I would like a word from you older folks, since you obviously have more life experiences than me.
Overall, thank you for reading this(hopefully) and for your time.