Dark Souls 2 - The First Two Hours

15.30 - Get home from shop. Put disc in. Watch intro and roll up some weed.

15.32 - Decid what the hell and crack open a beer too

15.35 - Create character. Decide on a swordsman. Looks pretty ****.

15.39 - Finally start playing. Game opens in a forest clearing under a night sky. I see some monkeys. They run away from me when I try to attack them.

15.43 - Corner a monkey. Don't have a sword yet so I try punching it.

15.44 - Suddenly get rushed by 5 angry monkeys. Get killed. Swear a bit. Light joint. Sip beer.

15.49 - Enter a hut. Old lady starts talking..blah blah blah. Whatever. Show me where the monsters at!

15.55 - Travel through a path in the woods. I see an Ogre in the distance. Got a sword now. Too tempting.

16.05 - Reach Ogre. Get smashed. Swear a bit more. Light joint. Sip beer. Burp.

16.19 - Reach the town of Majula. Looks beautiful. Sun setting over a glistening sea. A view like this needs to be appreciated. Light joint. Sip beer. Burp. Fart.

16.25 - Get killed by 3 rabid pigs. Fecks sake...

16.40 - Try my first invasion into another players world. They notice me and start running away.

16.41 - Didn't run fast enough. Kill them. Muhahaha. Light joint. Sip beer. Fart again.

16.54 - Reach Forest of the Giants. S'funny, don't see any Giants...

16.56 - Get killed by an ambush. Swear again. Louder this time. Light joint. Sip beer.

17.03 - Get invaded by another player. Get killed. What a wan***er. Shouldn't be allowed really...

17.12 - Travel through an underground dungeon. See a salamander. Don't notice the hollow pretending to be dead. Get killed. Argh! Light joi..oh no. Its run out. Boll**ks!

17.14 - Light 2nd joint. Finish beer. Go for a whizz.

17.19 - Come back. Somebody invaded me and killed me while I was taking a whizz! Now what kind of a person does that? I mean...honestly! Some folk have no sense of fu**ing chivalry.

17.26 - See an open door. Inside I can see a fallen soul. Walk through door. Get shot by 5 catapults. FOR fu**s sake!

17.30 - Had enough for now. Wonder if **** has any good new videos...


Discussion Info

Last updated July 3, 2018 Views 1 Applies to:

You saw the five ballista pointing at the doorway and you didn't think "Maybe this is a trap?"

You would have to be sheatfaced drunk and high at the same time to miss that.

It's totally worth it to go in there though and get the treasures.

The game is just freakin' awesome! Managed to get through Dead Mans Wharf and The Lost Bastille last night. That second white knight is a bit of a bugger isn't he?? lol

Still stuck at the Ruin Sentinels. Last time I fought them, I nearly killed them. When I backed off of the last one to heal up and let my phantoms fight, he threw is *** shield at me and 1hit me at nearly full hp.

Starting to run out of human effigies. Doesn't help that From made the amazing decision to despawn enemies in an attempt to mitigate farming.

I've only just got to them. FFS...these lot are gonna be like another Ornstein and Smough aren't they? I still dunno how the hell I managed to beat those two. Think I did it on a fluke after about 2 weeks of trying lol What level/character are you? I'm only a level 35 knight with a +3 Heide and +4 Flame sword. Starting to feel a little puny...Got loads of effigies tho. Stopped using them as often after getting the Ring of Binding.

I'm level 30something using a +4 longsword. I'd recommend using phantoms, since the last two come at you at once, and most of their  attacks are a pain in the balls to dodge.

I managed to whup em tonight. Ner ner (sorry couldnt resist lol) Way I did it was get the first one out the way then wait for the second one to jump up and let one of your phantoms engage him. Quickly drop down and then it's a 1-1 with the final sentinel while the other one is busy. Keep circling and get in a hit every time he misses with his swing. You have to keep close to stop him doing that twirly shield attack thing tho. You might wanna consider getting rid of the longsword and beefing up the flame and heide swords as they do additional fire and lightning damage (sentinels dont seem to like the lightning...). Good luck :)

If you want to fight them solo, you can also let the second one jump up and take him on for a few hits until the third one does, then you drop down and it'll give you time to heal if you need it.  After that, it's a waiting game.  Keep them both in front of you and try to get them both to attack at the same time.  Then, go in for a hit or two and back out.  Watch your stamina to make sure you don't put yourself into a situation where you can't roll when you need to.  Also, if they are standing close enough together, you can sometimes hit both at once, which is a bonus.