After doing this week’s reviews it turns out I might have made a mistake using my entire alcohol stock up to try and scrub the memory of Nene Minigames from my brain as I could have done with some of it this week to get over the selection of games that came out to bombard naive people enjoying their bank holiday weekend just like the bank holiday TV will be full of total crap the indie marketplace is too with a lot of recycled ideas and tedious games.
Game Name: Heroes vs Zombies
Review bit: The spiritual successor to I made a game with zombies in it, more complex, offering 4 player offline co op and relying mostly on kiting enemies, plenty of unlocks etc in the shop. Mainly only done worth playing 4 player though as single player it gets old fast and the boss is more annoying the Poison Ivy on Arkham Asylum. My major issues, the trial is only 5 waves long including the boss meaning you don’t get to try much out, the main gun feels horrible and takes 3 shots to kill a zombie and 4 on the second zombie type which is a zombie turtle, you read that right a turtle.
Verdict: For 80MSP it justifies its price tag and maybe multiplayer (though offline) is more fun as the classes might actually have a use in this mode.
Game Name: After Dusk
Cost: 80 MSP
Review bit: Another week another 8 bit game and this week’s didn’t make me feel sick, nor did it make me love it. An old school adventure game with lots of text, lots and lots and lots of text, if it were a text adventure then I’d have been fine with it but it’s an adventure game or trying to be. In the trial period I wasn’t slow but I only found 3 enemies, the first being 2 zombies then some plant thing on the ceiling. I also managed to get the game to freeze up while saving and once again found the game lacking in the spelling and grammar department, which if I notice it means it’s a big problem as my spelling and grammar is terrible.
Verdict: for 80MSP some it will pass the time I can’t say more than that, if you want to spend 80MSP on the game with others about then it’s your choice.
Game Name: Steel Avenger
Review bit: A spyhunter clone game without quite the fun of the original. You move your super vigilante car about shooting various enemy types each with its own characteristic you have bombs a machine gun and shields to help you.
Verdict: The only thing it does that spyhunter didn’t is have huge boss vehicles and have a police alert bar. Its 80MSP for a game which tries and fails to copy spyhunter. Take my advice google Spyhunter arcade game and play it for free on the on the makers site and steer clear of this game.
Game Name: Cute things dying violently
Review bit: This game is the result of taking Super Meat Boy, Angry birds and Lemmings and a Blender. Why a Blender ? Because putting said things in a blender will probably produce the blood effects in this game, this is quite possibly the most gore filled Indie game I know of but it’s not a bad thing.
Verdict: It won’t be topping any lists any time soon but with nice animation and ideas it justifies its 80MSP price tag
Game Name: Video Wars
Review bit: Well this is quite possibly the definitive answer to the question which video game enemy is best, this real time strategy game has a lot of complexity behind it, from capturing the right points and getting your expansion plan right to deciding how to spend your cash, the game comes with a very detailed yet enjoyable tutorial, so detailed I played the trial twice just to complete the tutorial.
From placing your nodes or bases, to upgrading them to tougher turrets which can fight back against enemies (I think) to building bunkers which defend, to units which can be dispatched to attack enemies and their bases, to missile which cause massive 1 shot damage which can wipe out an army if done well however they are vulnerable to the beam weapon which can be deployed free to create a disruption field which causes the missles to explode. Add to this bonus cash tiles etc and faction specific powers such as the defenders ability to double units damage, to the ghosts ability to all forces in on a location to the zombie class and their ability to raise their own dead in one large returning wave, this game is very complex.
Verdict: for 80MSP this might be the one of the best strategy game on the indie marketplace as it manages to do what Command and conquer did and give each side its own advantages and disadvantages and not simply give a level playing field. If there were online multiplayer I’d happily be calling for this to be a 260MSP game, as is 80MSP is the right price for a game where the fun would be telling the smug put down of your opponents defeated rant.
Game Name: Ambient Travels
Review bit: Why did I download this trial, I’m not joking I have no idea why ?
Though a better question is why is this even on the indie marketplace as a game ?
Well I’d better say something about it other than asking questions , you get to pick from one of 8 pictures which go in the background, you can hide the menu and that’s it, I’ve seen “games” before on the indie marketplace like this and they were better, Log fire had a crackling log fire with sound effects and motion, and Avatar Alarm Clock was a working alarm clock, though I use the phrase working in a totally wrong way there. Now as the images don’t move it means that image will be on the screen for as long as you can put up with having your 360 on, perfect for permanently burning that image onto your new looted Plasma TV screen ruining it.
Verdict: 80MSP for this is a joke I’d even say 8msp would be pushing it considering the only use is to turn your 360 into a highly expensive picture frame which will burn the image into your 360. My advice, google the locations , print the pages out and sticky tape them to your screen, well done you’ve just saved yourself 80MSP and achieved the same effect only without permanently damaging your expensive HD TV.
Game Name: Space Bat
Review bit: Take Space invaders, that block breaking game and pacman and what do you get ?
Well the developer of this was hoping for the most awesome title ever, turns out there’s a limit to combined awesomeness that goes round in a circle meaning this game has none of the awesome fun of any of the games but instead is filled with problems brought about by combining them.
You can die in one of 3 ways
1) The aliens reach the bottom of the screen
2) You let pacman fall by missing with the paddle
3) You get shot by the invaders
The issue being cases easily arise where you have a choice of either death by 2 or 3 and no way out of it, My next major issues is the power ups don’t work properly for example if you collect the straight through power up followed by the split power up you won’t have a powered up one that splits but if you collect split then straight through you’ll have lots of split ones that go through the blocks, other stuff like collecting the extended paddle and other power ups and the same time don’t work. I even managed to find a huge glitch just during the trial period where I managed to get pacman jammed between blocks for long enough for the invaders to reach the bottom of the screen.
Verdict: This should serve as nothing more than an example to other indie publishers to never ever try to rip and combine ideas of classic games. Don’t buy it.
Game Name: T.E.C. 3001
Review bit: Wow, just wow, this game is a true show of what indie developers can achieve with time and patience, a true marvel to play, I’m not quite sure how to classify this other than a running quick time game yet it’s not its evolution in action this is the inevitable evolution of games like Avatar Run and Avatar Ninja this is beyond them. The game has you playing as a robot collecting batteries with various speed up and down plates, walls to jump glass panels to smash and things to slide under however in various points you can pick your route and in some change the whole level colour scheme and background music. This is a marvel to play and to see played, in fact I’d say it’s one game where playing it is better than watching someone play it yet unlike most other games you can say that about, watching it is enjoyable too. If the developer had slowed the game down put weapons in and some enemies and had it play as a slave zero esc shooter, you’d have me here yelling for a full arcade release immediately.
Verdict: 240MSP is way too little for this game, I’m not joking 400MSP would better fit the awesomeness of this game buy it buy it now !!!!!
Game Name: Cubicle
Review bit: OK I was wrong, I don’t say this often but in the last supplement I made a claim about the worst minigames I’ve ever played. Turns out Nene doesn’t have the worst minigames ever, this game does. You play an office junior or some such thing and your job is to sort out papers, that’s right the whole game is about sorting out paper. You have to do the most awkward actions that even street fighter veterans would have issues with to achieve what should be very simple things, moves like quarter circle top right and quarter circle top left and these have to be precise as do the up and down movements as only a couple of degrees off and it won’t register. Then theres the progression system, to gain more things to do you have to use left trigger to answer the phone to the boss, the only way to know the phone is ringing is to play with the sound on there no visible sign the phone is ringing so this means the game renders custom soundtrack options redundant. Now where did I leave that emergency alcohol as I feel having played this for 3 minutes I need a very large drink to erase it from my memory.
Verdict: 80MSP for this, the developer should be paying people 80MSP an hour to simply play this thing as it actually manages to take the idea of a boring office job and make a game that is more boring. The only use for this game is as a motivational tool to get people to work as real life sorting of papers is actually 100 times more fun than playing this game. Avoid unless you’re missing work on this long weekend and your family seems like they’re being a pain as this game will soon have you enjoying your time with your family.
Game Name: Asphalt Jungle 2
Cost: 80 MSP
Review bit: An attempt to recreate the old moving puzzle games where you have to do such things as direct water to a tap by putting in the pipes. Except in this case its broken I managed to start the second level achieve the target score twice over and the goal refused to show up meaning I was stuck infinitely on level 2 with no end in sight, another case of poor testing of the games before releasing (seriously how are some of these things getting through the indie games peer reviews ?)
Verdict: An abomination really another poorly done indie games after some cash, steer well clear and drive off in the opposite direction. This really is a quantum singularity phalt of a game
Game Name: Ninja Sneaking
Review bit: Now I never thought there would be a stealth game released on the indie marketplace, and I was right as it turns out as this game is no more a stealth game as paint by numbers esc game, the thing being once you’ve played and played and played it and learned the exact pattern you will do well, however until that point you’ll be constantly getting caught by guards who seem to flick from looking one place to another in an instant. This game plays like the original Dragons Liar game in that its annoying and requires you to do no more than learn where enemies are and how to get round them then rinse and repeat
Verdict: A nicely styled game that might lead to some good stealth games in the indie marketplace but comparatively it’s like the first FPS game on indie marketplace it exists to prove its possible to make not to show any real great quality. Best to sneak out of sight of this game.
Game Name: That one hot Chick
Review bit: I’ve already looked at one “runner” quick time game this week and here comes another and by is the difference obvious, this game feels like the controls are that horrible blend of tight and loose where sometimes you will jump right others it takes a little bit to react meaning you’re constantly going to fail due to the fact the jump doesn’t work consistently, the idea is good the implementation however is pretty dire with the levels being set out to put the impossible game to shame in their design to make you easily make a mistake, the checkpoints seem a huge distance through the levels and a huge amount of difficult obstacles in add to this pixel precise jumping being needed and you have a very tough annoying game
Verdict: Not fun and not worth the 80MSP asking price unless you’re the kind of person who just had to get the megaman challenge for completing the game without being hit once.
Game Name: Beach Bubbles 2
Review bit: Every week every ******* Week there’s one of these now a game build to sell purely on the idea of *** selling and its getting old. This game is no exception after the infamous “Break one out” scandle that caused new rules for indie developers to be put in a similar game was always on the cards, the game has you collecting coloured bubbles while trying to beat the time limit and avoid weird evil metal spheres. Complete 4 levels and you get a picture of an anime chick drawn is a “sexy” pose. Now Newgrounds the site has games that go one better than this for free thus making this game a bit pointless. Even in the trial rather than letting you unlock a picture to see the idea you get to only play the first level for each picture then get told on the next level it’s not available in the trial now that’s something that always manages to annoy me when they limit the trial in a way other than the built in timer, I mean really.
Verdict: 240MSP ! it’s not even worth 80MSP. If you want your fix of scantily glad beach girls go watch the inbetweeners film or go to the park (and not in the bushes with binoculars) either way would be money better spent than this game.
Game Name: Doom & Destiny
Review bit: Taking a slightly tongue in cheek approach to RPG games this game uses the age old story of D&D players being accidentally transported to a mystical world of swords and sorcery and also a place where D&D the game exists and is being played by the villain of the piece when you meet them. The game seems fairly standard RPG wise, stats inventory and item management and later on skills etc for the characters. The game even does something that seemed very rewarding by having the first demon attacking you yelling for you to buy the game only for your party to them pummel the thing into oblivion. In the battles there’s also a much more visual way to show who attacks when in the form of a race style progress bar showing the positions of all the people in the battle and when they reach the end they get their turn.
Verdict: It might just last out the hefty 240MSP price tag and make it worth while, one for those who really need an RPG to play as they’ve already finished all the other RPGs out there and are waiting for the next one.
Game Name: Guarding
Review bit: 1/3 the cost of the other RPG this week , though not really bad it does show why its cheaper as it lacks the polish, requiring you to remember which character is which water than handily telling you when you select them, also lacking a seemingly epic plotline or much of a plotline beyond doing a series of trials or some such thing, with probably 1/3 the humour of the other RPG as well.
Verdict: Not a bad outing not a particularly good one either as it suffers from the annoying RPG syndrome of enemies that can kill you in 2 hits while you have to grind them down to kill them (also managing to make the female mage pointless for combat except for magic as she does 1/6th the damage of any other character when she attacks with anything but magic. Might just be worth the asking price.
Game of the Week: T.E.C. 3001 just so slick and well done this game brightened up what was a very dire week overall for indie game quality by reimagining and reinvigorating what had become a very stale boring genre.
Honourable mention: Video Wars for being the best RTS game I’ve ever seen in the indie marketplace and I can’t see it being toppled any time soon.
This week I bought: again none but that’s mainly because I didn’t have the points to buy T.E.C 3001 and know I’d get fed up of the Video Wars A.I. eventually.
Thats it me done for another week now time to find out how much alcohol it takes to forget the majority of the games this week.