Random Thought

I've been thinking of something for awhile and I need the collective advice of anyone willing to read.

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What has happened to the xbox live community when it comes to getting to know other people and finding potential gamers with which to share hours upon hours of hilarity, randomness and plain fun?  Here in the past months I have noticed, not sure if it's just me, that it is almost impossible to actually find anyone to game with anymore and here is what I have tried.

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I have visited various forums trying to find people to play with to no avail, if I do get responses they are people who friend me and never speak to me again.  I try playing multiplayer games and helping anyone I come across in any way I can.  I also am a team player.  Interacting through gaming seems to not warrant that which I seek either.  I mean I know people say play the game and you'll make friends.  Well that's just it, I do everything I can without trying to bother anyone but find it almost impossible nowadays to even find anyone to play anything with.

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What has happened to live?  Are people anti-social and just keep to themselves?  Why has it become so difficult to make friends to game with?  I mean I am not perfect but I am never given a chance.  Just a friend request and nothing more.  No contact of any kind, no attempts to try to game with anyone and I am a patient person, have been since I first started live.

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I know I am all over the place but I am at my whits end.  I pay for live each month to play multiplayer games in hopes of finding permanent friendship of some kind with others in order to enjoy gaming that much more.  But my pleas seem to always fall on deaf ears.  It's even the same with the clan forums.  Trying to find a clan/community to play with is almost impossible too if you don't have some godly K/D ratio.  Even when you do get a response from one they add you and nothing.  No response, no message, no nothing.  Just makes me wonder what I have done or am doing to warrant this kind of behavior.  How can I enjoy playing games with others if no one seems to want to game with me?

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Thanks for reading, just needed to vent/ask this question.  I truly want to know what else I can do.  Nothing I do seems to work.  I just keep getting people who only wish to pad their friends list, nothing more.  I don't crave attention of any kind, I'm just sick of selling all my multiplayer games because playing alone becomes monotonous and boring.  It's even starting to get that way with Battlefield 3.  I wish to move out of my single player norm and continue with multiplayer gaming but I can't do it solo.

 

Discussion Info


Last updated July 4, 2018 Views 4 Applies to:

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Just speaking for myself. I got fed-up for the people who confuse trash-talk and banter with abuse and vile insults.

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I game for entertainment, not to hear people speak in a manner than would get them a beating if they spoke to me that way in real life.

I have to agree. I used to be part of a large group that always played together. I met my flatmate playing shadowrun. I met a gamer for the first time at the airport when we went skiing together. But lately its difficult even finding a game where people even talk in the lobby. Halo hasn't helped with it's own in game chat preferences that limit game chatter. Maybe there should be some sort of community board where people can schedule games with like minded people.  I.e. I know ill be playing xcom   at midnight gmt today so I'll be happy for someone to join me, or quite happy to play any other game I have at the same time if asked.

A lot of people trash talk these days or "troll" to earn YouTube "fame." That's the main reason why I play by myself these days without a mic. It used to be fun back in the day, but the social aspect is dying.

Well I have quite a few social people on my friends list, but it's taken me years to assemble decent friends and get to know them.  It might help that I'm female too.  I remember when the party option came available...it was cool to be able to join with your friends and talk even if we are all playing different games, but this option seemed to kill the in-game chat, which was how I used to find my friends.  I would join a game to hear a lot of talking, now I join a game and find complete silence.  So much of my friends list is comprised of people I connected with while Rainbow Six Vegas 2 was first released.  Some of my list is made up of randoms from the original too, so they have been on my list 6-7 years.

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I can completely understand how people just signing up for Gold and trying to connect with others would have a problem finding friends.  You can look here, but it's often a mixed bag.  The great part of adding randoms as you play a game with them is that you know what you are getting.  You can get a sense of their personality and playing style, which is IMPORTANT to me.  The people I have picked up from the forums are untested and so when I get a friend request, I'm apprehensive.  Most the time now it seems like I get requests from people that don't even have matching games and that have a friends list full of girls which makes me wonder a little. It's possible to get good friends through the forum...just get a sense of their personality from the board first and then send an FR.  I met a few people here that I really like and that I would probably be good real life friends with if we lived closer.  

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But if you want to pick some up in-game, I'd suggest to do what some of my friends and I do - start an open game while we are in a party chat.  A random will join the game.  We will play a few rounds with him/her and then send an invite to our party.  Then decide if they should get a FR.  It's not as great as before when it was all in-game chat, but it still works....if you can get the person to join.  Sometimes they're scared to.  :p

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This all got ruined for two reasons. First reason is party chat. Much of the time when I play alone, I find myself stuck with nobody to talk to or encourage teamwork to because they are all in a private chat. It's sad really because if this existed last gen, I wouldn't have the friends I do have who date back 7 to 10 years. Second problem is matchmaking. I said years ago that Halo 2 was going to ruin the community aspect of online gaming yet so many of you called it revolutionary. While it might be easier to connect with friends and join games, this idea completely randomized everything and you no longer have a choice as to which servers you are playing in to avoid the things people say they are hiding from to begin with.

I think it´s also cause there are so many trolls now. I mean I refuse to play some kind of games cause those are full of people who like to annoy you, lie and record you and put you on youtube. That gladly never happened to me but I think that is one reason why people talk less in games. They don´t wanna be a youtube video cause they got trolled by someone who think that is funny. I give you right BIzzaro, most gamers are really scared and the others who are not, are not that nice most of the time.

I keep my friends list really REALLY short. Just the fun and cool ones are allow to stay :D

A while back you could jump into a party full of randoms and had some fun talk. Today you land in a chat full of people that wanna hit on you or try to mess with you.

/begin rant=  You're not alone. Luckily I accumulated a fair amount of players for cooperative games where you far more likely to find other players who have the same drive to just play for fun. The core group that I have known the longest were from Rainbow Six Vegas Terrorist Hunts. I have ended up playing at least five to six other games with everyone in that group especially any coop concentric games.

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Party chat has a been a big part seemingly quieter lobbies, but it's actually made it much simpler to get people together at least in my case. When I get on I check to see who is playing what as well as who is in parties. Pretty much everyone in my friends list for Battlefield 3 was met in BC2 or BF3 as a friend of a friend who joined the party.  Biggest problem with this system to work for multiple games the friends list needs to be larger and have some form of organization. Also no name overlays in most games for party chat means matching voices to names can take time and be especially difficult with people coming and going. Wish all games supported name overlays and showed party groups on the roster.

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I also have thought there should be a system where from my console I could easily find players for specific games and gametype from the entire pool of Live! users. Have a lot of games where people are still playing them, but right now trying to play anything besides basic game modes doesn't work out. If there was a simple way to organize events instead of starting a game just to see who is playing I could get a lot more out of certain games.

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Just seeing what games my friends actually own besides the awful beacon system would help. I still have more success wading through the compare games list and comparing achievements to pull together a group.

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So basically because Jolly doesn't want to be hit on, those of us who want competitive fun getting to know an actual community should suffer. Multiplayer is now bland and casual. Everybody is random. Before party chat, I wouldn't even be in any type of general game sections. I would be in the forum of the actual games I play discussing last nights best games, what servers they were on with other members of the same community. Now i dont even go to the game boards nor do i even know my opponents. its all completely randomized now. Now when you visit a game section, you see nothing but posts asking to help them get an achievement, what weapons are good or this game sucks. Xbox Live should still be a real gaming service. instead its now some kind of voice enabled Facebook.

You twist my words again. Stop to put words in my mouth murder.

Gonna ask a mod to delete this topic.  I made it in haste without thinking and am too afraid to even read any responses.  Apologies to anyone who responded, just can't bring myself to read anything hateful today.

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