I can get them on Xbox.com and i can get them when i sign out and back in again but while i am on i just dont get the message I have notifications on but i dont get messages when i check. i also have a game invite but i cant decline or delete it.
Try deleting your gamertag from your Xbox (profile only **NOT** profile and games), then recovering it using the Windows Live ID (email and password).
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I cant get game invites or messages unless I sign out and in
Emperor - have you tried deleting your profile and recovering, per Zen Like Calm's instructions above?