how could i completely delete this account so that i could get this gamertag onto my real account?
without having to spend $20 on changing the names
Once a tag has been created, it can't be deleted/re-issued. Are you trying to associate this tag with a different MS account?
If that's what you're trying to do, you can follow the steps here:
If that's not the case, please let us know.
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Spending to change names is the only way.