The original problem was that I wanted to promote my account (I am 21, and I can't download anything with my windows phone because somehow it got the idea that I am a child, despite not changing anything since I was originally able to download content from the marketplace--they have my money now.)
When I would sign into xbox.com and try to go to My Account, it would ask me to agree to the new Terms of Service. I would click agree, and then it would ask me to log in with the Parent account so that THAT account could agree to the terms of service. I don't even know what that email is, and it shouldn't be necessary given that I am an an *adult*.
Now, when I log into xbox.com and click 'My Account', I get this shize:
In addition, I can't log out! If I sign out using xbox.com OR live.com, I still can't log out of the xbox website. The only way to log out is to clear my browser.
Is there any hope of getting past this ridiculousness and being able to download apps onto my phone, without completely resetting it, making a new account, and re-buying my apps?