but account management on xbox says i have gold, want to play forza but cant with stupid silver!!!!!1
There's a delay between you buying gold on the website and your console being told this information. You can either wait it out or speed it up by testing your connection on your console.
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Try deleting and recovering your account. Should work.
There is a delay like VernierSlake says but also Try recovering your account again because its a bit of a glitch