Calendar to large to fully sync? HD2, winMo 6.5, XP Pro SP3,Office 2007 and Activesync 4.5

My first post, so firstly hi to everybody who reads this and secondly as often is the case  Plz Help if you can. My wife got an HD2 from O2 and it's causing me to loose my marbles.I have not succeeded in doing a complete first sync with all the data we would like.

Background is
No G3 internet wanted but is connected to the web by Wi-Fi at home.
No emails but use Outlook for contacts, calender, tasks and notes. We also expected it to be able to sync Word Docs but apparently it doesn't, though we have not had an opportunity to get that far yet.
Laptop uses XP pro SP3, Outlook 2007 (Office 2007 Pro) and Active Sync 4.5. using USB cable.
The HD2 has.
Os version 5.2.21864, Rom version 1.43.206.4, Rom date 11/06/09

I have managed to migrate every thing from Palm Desktop to Outlook, the biggest problem was the calendar database which given the length of time we have had Palms has grown to 15000 items, eventually had to use pocket copy which worked straight away.
Checked Outlook pst with ScanPST and resolved problems and ran again until no errors and was confident that was that, then told my wife to get an HD2 as even though it was over featured for our business use, it should do what we wanted.

So it was up to me to set it up and this was where the Problems started.
Set up WiFi fine, then tried to go to Activesync screen through Htc software and kept being asked for an email address when we don't want mail or Exchange Server.
Went to windows 6.5 and opened active sync which did say it needed a connection, so installed Active Sync 4.5 on PC.
Surprised to find a lack of options in settings of Active Sync as our calendar goes back to 1995 so the options of 2 weeks, 1,3,6 months or all, really does leave a big gap.

I was always going to sync the calendar first but did not expect it to default to 2 weeks back on first sync, it did work and I could now get in to active sync and set options on device so set calendar to all and did a sync. It got to 2007 (about 12000 entries out of 15000) and then Active sync puts up error message, along the lines of
 -- device run out of memory Turn off and close applications error 8007000e --.

Since then I have
1. Hard Reset more times than I care to mention
2. Used system Restore.
3. Reinstalled Active sync, and removed all signs in registry at each removal.
4. Reset Connection/partnership
5. Rerun SCANPST

The furthest I got was by syncing last 2 weeks and future appointments after syncing up to Nov 2007 but then I tried to sync last 6 months and it deleted the 12000 entries on device.
I do not believe I have run out of memory as having got Calendar synced as far as possible I can then put ticks in Contacts, Notes and Tasks and they then sync without problem. There is 87mb free after a sync like this
It does not appear to be corrupt entries as it does not stop at the same place after reset though it is always between 12000 and 12999.
If it is running out of memory why would it show 87mb free, is there a caching problem with larger databases ?

I thought I would try to get some help here before returning the device. Sometimes if I remove a tick from say contacts it deletes them from device and sometimes not.
As a business device my wife relies on it and at present it really not living upto expectations, We need reliability, is it possible that the phone is faulty ? Is a database that I can load on a Palm Tungsten really too large for the HD2,

I have searched for updates that might resolve this and notice that others have had similar problems with contacts but no sign of a clear cut fix, nothing mentioned in HTC updates info seems to relate to this problem.

I hope I missed something as overall I like the HD2. All this relates to USB cable connection, we have no Exchange server etc.
Active Sync 4.5 seems to have less options than Palm hotsync which dealt with backup as well and less options than it used to, there is no option for choosing to resolve individual conflicts.

Is there a way to get it----- (Active Sync)
To load 2 or 5 years of calender data.
Not run until you tell it to as it seems to start as soon as connected to PC and then repeats.
Give warnings and options before duplication of data, and not delete data when ticks are removed from boxes in options on the PPC. I suppose it's great if it works, but if you need to manipulate syncopation to get round an issue or two like I do it seems very short on customisable options.
Get it to load "all" but starting in the present and working back, so that if a failure happens you have present appointments, so the phone is usable as a calendar.

If I could I would back up outlook.pst and then delete all appointments before say 2008, then Active sync with setting "all", this been the initial sync. I would then set it to last month (in Active sync options/calender/settings) for all future syncs. Then return backed up pst to outlook and go from there.
But when I change from all to 6 months it deletes all but the last six months, I have never used Outlook, being used to Palmdesktop so it is a steep learning curve any advice would be appreciated otherwise I am going to become permanently nocturnal as HD2 has to go to work during the day.