I know this is an old question but I just had the same problem and I found out that there is a setting to make headings which are based on a style default collapsed/expanded:
HOME>Styles>Modify Style>Paragraph>Indents and Spacing>General>Collapsed by default
This option is per style and styles are per document so you would need to change every style
in every document where you want your headings to be default collapsed. If you want your headings default collapsed in new documents you would need to change your default template (%appdata%\Microsoft\Templates\Normal.dotm).
Edit: See Rohn007's comment below how to import/export your changed
styles to other documents.
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